The Show Kim Possible Encourages Pedophilia
by Troumvirate
Summary: KIGO.  Kim and Shego discover their true feelings for each other one night, but how will Kim's parents react?  KIGO.  Entered as part of Capwn's "Darker Than the Average Story" contest.  KIGO.  KIGO!  Did I mention that this is KIGO?


It was a quiet night at the Possible residence as James and Anne sat in the living room reading together. Suddenly they heard the front door open. They both naturally assumed it to be their daughter who was coming home from her weekly mission. They both wondered who it was this time that federal and international authorities were too incompetent to locate or fight. Much to their surprise they saw Kim enter with her green arch-foe Shego.

Anne placed her book down on her lap and gave her daughter a questioning look. "Kimberly, what is she doing here?"

"Shego is my girlfriend now. It turns out that she's always cared for me and has been stalking me for months. So when Ron and I got in trouble on a mission today Shego saved me because Rufus had met his deus ex machina quota for the month. Then she confessed her undying love for me, and now we're dating."

"Okay then, sounds good," James said as he continued reading.

So then Kim and Shego went upstairs to Kim's room, leaving the two parents alone once again.

Anne looked over at James who seemed unaffected by what had just occurred. "James, our sixteen year old daughter is having sex with a strange woman who tries to harm or kill her on a regular basis. I'm not sure how old she is, probably between 24 and 30. It's pretty vague and tends to change depending on what the situation calls for. "

"How do you know they're having sex?" he asked.

"Because this is a Shego/Kim pairing with romance and drama as the genres and is rated mature. You'd have to be a complete idiot not to expect them to be having sex. It's probably the second most popular type of story behind Kim/Ron fluff. Anyway, we should go up there and tell them to stop right now. It's illegal."

"Maybe we should let her continue to see her much older criminal arch-nemesis. I mean, she is our precious little Kimmie-cub. As responsible parents we should be fully supportive of whomever our underage daughter is having sex with. As long as there's no penis involved I as a father cannot be upset about it because there's no risk of her getting pregnant."

Anne looked at James like he was an uncharacteristically abusive father. "Have you ever even read some of these stories? One of the two commonly gets pregnant from the other's genetic material. Somehow. I really don't think the authors understand genetics or where babies come from."

"Well in that case let's go up to Kim's room right now and forbid them from being together. I'm sure this won't blow up in our faces in any way. It's not like anything bad ever happens to forbidden couples throughout the history of literature and film, right?"

Anne didn't answer as they both made their way up the stairs to Kim's room. Inside they heard moaning and cries of passion. Neither wanted to barge in on their daughter in the middle of having hot lesbian sex, so James just knocked on the attic door.

"Kim, stop whatever you're doing right now. You're too young to be having sex with this person. I should be calling the police right now in fact, for more reasons than just that."

"But dad, there's subtext!" he heard his daughter yell.

"What?"

"There's subtext. Shego and I are totally gay for each other. That's how the writers of the show actually wrote our characters. It's really, really vague and you have to look really hard to find it. Like, you have to disregard almost everything about our canon characterization and every explanation of the subtext is a really big stretch. But it's clear that the two of us are totally in love."

"Kim, are you honestly trying to tell me that the writers of our show support a teenage girl fucking a woman in her mid to late twenties?"

"Yes! It may be a kid's show, but there's plenty of stuff thrown in there for the older viewers to enjoy that the kids wouldn't understand. This is one of them. And sometimes fans make us vampires and werewolves because they have boners for Twilight."

Anyway, Kim and Shego then resumed having sex. And then like in many fan fictions they climaxed at the same time. Because that's how it always works out.

A few minutes later they heard the sirens of police cars coming closer and closer to the house. They looked out the window to see several police and Global Justice vehicles pull up, with officers and agents beginning to surround the house.

The two females were quick to put their clothes back on, as both anticipated a fight. Both of them also knew that they were about to have the time of their lives. After all, both were extremely skilled martial artists. And Shego could throw fire. Or plasma. Again, it's pretty vague, but there's a fucking huge difference between the two. Some people even use the two interchangeably in the same story. But that's not important right now.

They then realized that they couldn't leave because the agents had entered the house and were on their way up to Kim's room. After a few tense moments they heard a second knock on the door.

"Kim Possible, this is Dr. Director," the familiar voice said. "You are ordered to surrender Shego to our custody immediately."

"Never!" Kim screamed. "I love her more than my family or friends even though we've only been together for a few hours! I would give up my whole life and everything I've ever worked for so we can be together!"

Without another word the door burst open and men began climbing the small ladder up to Kim's attic room. The first few men went down easily after a few punches and kicks. Kim and Shego looked lovingly into each other's eyes as they both felt a carnal, passionate connection in the heat of combat.

"I love you so much, Shego," Kim said with teary eyes.

"Princess, I love-" Shego said before a loud bang echoed in the room.

Kim looked in horror as she saw a large chunk of Shego's skull blown off of her head. Blood and brain matter splattered all over the room, with a fair amount hitting Kim herself. The redhead shrieked in a mixture of anguish and terror as she saw her lover's lifeless body collapse to the ground.

In her grief Kim was distracted so a number of agents tackled and pinned her to the ground before placing handcuffs around her wrists.

"What's going on? Why did you shoot her? And why are you arresting me?"

"We shot her because she's a dangerous fugitive wanted in a dozen countries around the world," Dr. Director explained. "On more than one occasion she and her employer have attempted to murder millions of people and threatened the stability of entire nations. She was resisting arrest and attacking our agents. So we shot her. This is real life after all. Not some stupid movie like Kill Bill where people fight exclusively with swords and martial arts."

"But you guys aren't supposed to use guns! And what about me? I'm Kim Possible! My reputation alone should clear me of any charges."

"You were harboring a fugitive, aiding and abetting a fugitive, and were assaulting law enforcement officials. You're going to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."

Kim wiped a piece of bloody brain matter from her cheek and began to cry. Tonight she had lost everything fighting for her true love. Just as she said she would.

The end.


End file.
